Short Story 2016 Featured Sayujya Sankar

The Dragons of Az-ma’an

There have always only been five.  They were the last five.  Belonging to Az-ma’an, they were the end of the species, but they were the ones who created history.
Na’akul was the black one.  His heart was fiercer than the sun’s core.  He was the dragon lord.  He was not their king.  He was not the crowned ruler of dragon-kind.  He was just the unspoken leader.  His scales rippled like the blackest of nights.  His eyes were two sharp, piercing diamonds that could catch every single thought, every single whisper of a breath.

Na’akul was the only one who had a partner.  Sha’rza was a coy one.  She was golden in colour.  Her nostrils weren’t as big, so her fire wasn’t as powerful.  She was a silent one, a sweet one, and yet she could be vicious.  She had claws and spikes to compensate.  Her eyes were honey-studs.  But of the five, she was the only one who could escape that deep, penetrating glance of Na’akul’s.
Then, there was the bond-brother.  Nobody would have thought that Zian’s scales could wound as they did, nor would one anticipate the speed of those flaky wings.  But Zian was the charmer.  He was an indescribable mix of black and an almost transparent blue. His shades flashed differently in different lights and at different heights.

Of course, Zian was not Na’akul’s blood-brother.  Born of two different blood-lines, Na’akul and Zian had sworn hearts above the water flame.  After all, since water is the only element that can extinguish dragon-fire, the water flame is significant.  A water-flame can only be found in the depths of the ocean, above a sea-volcano.  However, since most dragons are land-dragons, they cannot manage to find the water-flame, or perish in their attempts to do so.  But the expedition is sacred, and history has noted that most of these voyages were undertaken by two dragons usually of the same sex.  So, there were brother dragons or sister dragons. Only on extremely rare occasions were brother-sister dragon bonds forged at the water-flame.

The fourth dragon was Elle’za.  She was the gorgeous one.  She brought out the shades of green in the flash of her tail, in the gush of her wings and even in the gurgle of her fire-laughter.  She was the wild one, the vibrant one, the cheerful one.  Maybe that’s why she was the colour most attributed to nature. Yet, she was inexplicably attracted to Zian’s charms, his lanky exuberance, the blackness beyond the transparent sky-blueness. She would tail him wherever he went, and it couldn’t be denied that he enjoyed that attention. Often, they would wander the skies together, though they were not bound in love.

There was one, however, who was different from the rest. She was the only water dragon. If ever she laid a nest, it would be under-water. Unlike the land-dragons who couldn’t breathe fire under-water, her flames were the most powerful there. She was called Topaz after the colour of her element. But, her wings, her torso, her scales were a glistening white, with streaks of an aquamarine blue. In the sun, her scales would flash a shade of silver, and on cloudy days, her body, too, would take on the greyness of the skies. The colour of her skin constantly changed- not only with the season, but also with her changing moods. Her eyes were a sharp flash of metal that could soften into the mellowness of raindrops at the skip of a heart-beat. Because she was the only water-dragon, she had two small slits for gills, but she also possessed a pair of lungs.

Topaz was one of the rarest few to break the water-flame rule of brother-brother and sister-sister. Though she was of free skies and deep oceans, her friendship ran strong. She was Na’akul and Zian’s closest sister, a relationship neither male could define. Their loves ran strong and bold, but this was the friendship of mellowness, of closeness without words, of space in that closeness, of being different but united, of sibling-hood. In the middle of the night, unbeknownst to the other four, Topaz reached the volcano of water-flame. Slowly streamlining herself to the depths of the water around her, she placed her nostrils against the opening of the volcano, letting out a wave of fire.
Usually, water-flame bonds are built with all the to-be-siblings present. But Topaz did something nobody had heard of ever before. She swore fealty to two male land-dragons without their presence. She swore to be a bond-sister. Of course, neither Na’akul nor Zian was aware of Topaz’s actions. They were lost in their own worlds.

When the humans arrived, they were five too- the beginning five. Five grown adults born of the blood of dragon shed over night-fire. It had been Na’akul’s idea. He was the most idealistic of them all. He had believed that human would be a representation of their thoughts, of their desires, of their ideals. The five humans were born of the five dragons. But, funnily enough, they believe that there were only two in the beginning!

They were said to be one and the same. It had been Zian’s idea, however, never to reveal themselves to humankind. They would be the gods of humans, he said. Initially, the humans did not have names, and the dragons believed them to be a part of their own being. And thus, they took on the names of their creators.

Na’akul’s creation was dark as the deep night- just as he was. He came first. And when the five humans met, he was their unnamed leader, too. He was a warrior, and he loved his fight. He was passionate, he was kind, he was smart and he was bold. Sha’rza created a woman who was cunning, sharp and witty unlike the shy Sha’rza herself. Her creation was the most deceptive. She always flashed a gorgeous, knowing smile and shook out her dazzling hair. Yet, she could be vulnerable. With a drop of his blood, Zian created a youthful, energetic lad. He had a mop of unruly hair, constantly falling on his face. He had a lanky frame accompanied by a lanky grin. He was a charmer, just as his dragon-father was and his agility knew no bounds. Elle’za created a fair and tall, elegant-looking woman. She was the liveliest of the lot. She, like her dragon-mother, loved to walk across the green terrains of hills and dales, and her laughter sounded like the rustle of the leaves. Topaz’s woman was different from the creations of Sha’rza and Elle’za. She was dark like the bark of woods. Her eyes were dark like the depths of the ocean. She was an archer and a swordswoman of the woods. She was a strong and weathered fighter.

These were the beginning five. They had been created across the width and breadth of the lands, but they came together by instinct. They met where Na’akul’s creation lived. The vast savannahs stretched as the five stood in a circle, setting eyes on each other for the first time, filled with an inexplicable bond that tied them together. They seemed so different from each other that they first thought that they were different species. But Na’akul ensured that they understood each other. And so, he created language.

But language was deceptive. Some knew how to use it well. Some did not. The most fluent was Sha’rza’s creation. The silent one was Topaz’s creation. With language came communication. As the beginning five grew more accustomed to their clime and language, they began to communicate more with each other, and less with their creators. The hard-work and bloodshed of the dragons began waning. But, there was one amongst the created five who still believed. Zian still held commune with his creation.

A youth, about twenty-five, Zian’s creation still believed in his god. He asked his creator to help him during his troubles and he thanked him for his small joys. Zian, always a giving dragon, flew through the night and delved into the depths of the world to protect his creation. Zian, of course, never revealed himself to his creation though often, a presence was felt even if it wasn’t heard or seen.
This presence was vaguely felt by the other humans as well. But a feeling in a world of language is usually left forgotten amidst the words. Yet, a few of the emotions felt by the dragons had trickled into their human counterparts. Na’akul and Sha’rza’s creations fell in love. In the vast emptiness of green grasslands, under clear blue skies, or dark, inky nights there was passionate love. And just as with the dragons, the strength of the sibling bonds remained between the humans. Yet, their ties which had never been hindered by space, allowed them to move back to their territories. Topaz and Zian went their own ways, and soon, Elle’za left as well.

Topaz’s creation was the furthest off. She sailed a boat to her native land. Once she touched her home-ground, something pricked her conscience. She felt the dragon in her rising. She was confused about her god. But Topaz was not one to sit still, and watch her creation drift away from her. From the depths of the ocean, she sang a grieving song. And her creation heard it in the lapping waves, the slipping sands of the ocean and in the empty sea-shells. She walked through forest and hill with confused thoughts dashing across the shores of her mind.

With the movement of people, the dragons had to part ways too. Na’akul and Sha’rza were together, but the other three found isolation. Zian flew to the zenith of his territory, scorching the lands he saw. He missed his bond-brother, and the bond-sister he did not know he had. His separation caused him anger. Elle’za waited. Patient. Quiet. Knowing things will blossom again. Topaz sank to the depth of the ocean, remembering an isolated oath that no other breathing creature knew about. Hers was a guttural cry to reunite. Alarms rang in the under-current of the ocean as her shade turned pale with worry. She was the most agitated.

We know that Sha’rza’s creation was the most deceptive. She could hide, with her skilled use of words, the true intentions of her heart. She became so adept at this that Sha’rza fretted. She flew as high as she could, shrieking clarion calls to her friends. But Na’akul silenced her. He couldn’t comprehend that his creation did not remember him, and instead chose to love a woman who did not truly understand his heart. He hoped that his creation would come to him for help, as Sha’rza hoped for hers.
But Na’akul’s creation loved beyond the bounds of his heart’s ocean, and so caught up was he that he could not hear the agitation of the clouds or the distress in his plains. He loved as the night loves day, chasing her without choice, without realising that night and day can never be together. He didn’t even feel the forged bonds of brother and sister straining to come to his aid. They had not been wanted. They had been silenced.

Once, just once, Na’akul’s creation heard a deep wail emanating from the ocean. He spoke to Sha’rza’s creation of his belief that a ghost-wind was sweeping through his land. She just laughed. But she was afraid. Well-equipped with words, she knew that ghost-winds meant omens, and omens were supernatural. But her rationality strained against these irrational beliefs, and she attempted to scoff away these notions.

That was the first death. With the dismissal of the creator by the created, Sha’rza did not know whom to love more- Na’akul or her creation. Are blood and heart the same thing? Blood was child and heart was partner. After dismissal, Sha’rza’s creation felt a ripping shard in her mind-scape and she remembered. A sudden realisation, fear and anguish came upon her. Repenting that she had ever doubted her creator’s existence and forgetting the importance of words, she cried to her creator to bear her to her home, and blood won over heart. The death of love.

Na’akul was devastated and furious that Sha’rza had chosen her blood-child over him. This anger reflected in his creation, but he no longer knew what to believe. He was broken. Na’akul swore a land oath, breathing fire into the skies, promising that he would not allow himself to fall again- for the love of a partner, or of a son. He would be without ties; unbounded. And that was the second death. Stealthily, as his creation lay asleep, Na’akul, black as fury, swept over his son and fed him to the waters. He then clawed out his heart and threw it in with his son and slowly flew away. The death of a heart.

Na’akul’s heart floated above the water-flame, sending deep scars cutting across his bond brother and unknown bond-sister. There was aid at hand almost immediately, but a heartless dragon needs no aid.
The ensuing battle was fierce. Zian, who remained closer to Na’akul’s terrain, reached his brother first. Na’akul turned savagely on him, eyes flashing, steam rising from his nostrils. Zian was anxious. Flying in a downward loop, he met a flare meted out to him by Na’akul. He raged. Zian spread his sparkling-blue-black wings, barely missing the flame. Growling, Na’akul rose off the ground in a massive leap, and just as Zian was about to swing around flying skyward, Na’akul caught his tail-end, clawing it till there was a deep hole in his bleeding tail. Na’akul, for good measure, singed his bond-brother’s sparkling coat until there was a scar running above his right wing. Zian roared and reached for Na’akul’s underbelly with his talons and managed to wound him enough to escape.

Just as Zian was leaving, there was a fuming white blur in the distance carrying a heart of fire. Clanging talons angrily dropped what was her bond-brother’s, on his own land. But before he could reach for it she swished a white tail at him. Amused, Na’akul looked up at her. Her fire was as red as his. Her smoke as black as his. She was impatient. He already wanted a truce, for she had brought him back his heart. But she was deaf with rage. There was a roar of fire which he quickly dodged. She turned into a radiant mix of angry red and furious yellow, letting out another ball of flame. This time, it nearly caught him, but he barely managed to evade it as well. From her tail she let loose a few spikes. But he knew her every move. After all, he had taught her some of these techniques himself. His fury had abated now. He no longer wanted to fight. But Topaz was still fuming. She realised that she could not win without calming down, and she turned beating her wings furiously. But as she turned she let her tear fall.
Na’akul stood above a beating heart that was no longer his own staring at the tear-drop of a bond-sister he hadn’t known he had until he saw her arrival at his heart’s tug. This was the third death. Death of a bond.

While the fights were on, Elle’za, who had always been the wild one, and had tried to stay away realised the need for unity. She went to the existing creations and tried to reach them and talk some sense into them. She whispered about belief and about trust. And she managed to reach her creation, bringing back belief in her blood-child. Elle’za saw a beginning of a new life in this, and as she rejoiced she flew over her land into that of her neighbour- Zian. On the highest peaks of the world, she saw a blue-black dragon keening in anguish as his wounds gushed out blood. Their unity had no name, for they knew the danger that had been brought on between Na’akul and Shar’za with the naming of their bond. But, this was a bond forged in a sphere that was purer than water or land- it was forged in the icy-cold breeze of the air.

Topaz’s creation, too, reached belief, though through a different path. She didn’t look for her creator, but she looked for beauty in the world around her- in the trees and the seas and the sky. And through beauty, she found truth. Neither Zian nor his creation ever found out about their bond-sisters. Na’akul’s creation had died even though Na’akul had gotten his heart back. This was the end of the dragon era. Human had been created and the world had to move on. Zian and Elle’za’s creations brought forth more of their kind. Maybe that is why humankind believed that in the beginning there were only two. But, there were two more creations somewhere, who soon passed on to other worlds. The last five dragons were there as long as belief was there. But soon, belief began to fade. So did beauty. Deception became the need of the day, and so, the dragons, unwillingly, but with not much of a fight, passed on into oblivion.

Short Story 2016 Featured Nooreen Dossa

Loves Comes to Those Who Believe It

Chapter - I
It was a beautiful morning but Nandini was feeling uneasy. She was late for her first lecture, so she took a quick shower and tied her long hair into a bun. Nandani had missed her bus so she decided to sprint her way to the university. She had never been late for a lecture and her professor’s admired her for her integrity. She was an asset to her classmates, after all, she always shared her notes with them.
Working late hours and sleeping for barely three hours at night had become a routine now. But last night was different. Like every other night, she came home at 2:30 am and was in bed by 3:00 am. But she just couldn't sleep. Her mind was not at peace and kept wandering. No, it wasn’t the night when she had her first kiss. It was not even the night when she tried doing something wild. Nandani was twenty-one and super mature for her age. She had seen a world that was far beyond the imagination of any young girl.

Nandini entered the class with her head down. Her almond shaped deep black eyes which usually looked peaceful and calm looked distracted and guilty. She was distracted because of the thoughts that had been bothering her all through the night and guilty because she was not on time for class. The teacher inquired “Is everything alright? She had never seen her favourite student look so pale. Nandini looked at her professor and explained that she was down with fever but didn't want to miss class.

Nandini was studying law and enjoyed her subjects. She was in her first year and wanted to study criminal law. Nandini always stood out among her group as she was 5 feet 7 inches attractively tall for an average Indian girl. Her classmates called her Madhubala (legendary film actress from the yester years) because of her beautiful and arresting smile. Always dressed in a simple full sleeve kurta with jeans, she could hardly hide her slim yet curvy body behind her loose clothes.
Today was a day when she was supposed to stay back after class and work on an assignment with her classmates, but she excused herself and went home.

Nandini lived with her brother Kunal and the munchkin was capable of driving any sane person crazy. Nandini had her way with him; she was as wild as him and she enjoyed that chaos. Her kid brother called her 'Wow Didi' after she taught him to shout out, 'WOW every time he enjoyed a game.
But today was just not her day. As the day went on she was feeling more and more tired. She was mentally and emotionally exhausted. "Why can't I stop thinking about him? He is obviously not the first man who has ever shown interest in me."
She reached home, it was almost time for the sun to set, so she fixed dinner for her baby brother.
While she was cooking and cleaning she was also mentally preparing herself for next duty.

Chapter - II
"I am yet to come across a name board which says - DANCE BAR"
She checked into the venue of her evening job. Went back stage and got dressed in a net saree with heavy embroidery, lots of make-up and flowers in her hair.
Along a row of shops was a small door, wooden and carved, with an innocuous signboard which said Lotus Restaurant and Bar. The doorman opened the door for Nandini. She smiled at the two uniformed bouncers who stood at the entrance. She walked inside to the soft thump of Hindi film music which suddenly became loud. The sound-proofed corridor opened into the innards of the darkened dance bar.

Many dance bars double up as pick-up joints and a front for prostitution. At the end of the day's business, the shower money is divided between the dancer and the management in a preset ratio. Usually, it is 40% for the dancer and 60% for the bar. The ratio varies across bars.
Most girls at the bar are pushed into this profession due to lack of education and other skills needed to earn a livelihood.

Chapter - III
This particular bar was a hub of girls who were victims of a tragic and dreadful day in the history of mankind which had changed their lives forever.

24th December 2004
The month and year that will be remembered by many people across the world. A single day that destroyed many lives. A single day that orphaned many children. A single day that widowed many women. A single day that changed Nandini's life. This earthquake in the Indian Ocean affected various countries in South Asia. Over a thousand people were killed in tidal waves in Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh and Andaman and Nicobar Islands. Tamil Nadu was one of the most distressed states with over 800 killed. At least 350 people had been confirmed dead in Tamil Nadu with over 100 people dead in Chennai alone.

Nandini was at school that time while her parents were at home. She was completely shattered to come back home to discover that her parents were one of those 100's who had become victims of the assassin waves. Her parents had been taken away by the dreadful waves. Nandini and Kunal were at the mercy of her maternal uncle who shipped her off to Mumbai and asked her to meet Birju, the manager of Lotus Bar.

Nandini was only fifteen; she needed to take care of her brother and also wanted to complete her education. She succumbed to the option of dancing in a bar, without realising that it involved sex work. She had managed to escape that route till the ban on dance bars was introduced. She continued working in the bar and soliciting with the hope of securing her dream job in a law firm after completing her Bachelors in Law.
At this juncture, it is important to mention that by this time the government had already announced a ban on dance bars, for propagating obscenity. Having lost their only source of income bar girls knocked at the doors of the National Council for Women but in vain. In a single stroke, this decision deprived 75,000 bar girls and three lakh male bar workers of their only source of livelihood, stated the petition given to the commissions by the representatives of the Bharatiya Bar Girls Union.
The dance bars continued to operate under the disguise of service bars, where girls only serve drinks. Till date these bars operate as spots for solicitation.

The Reunion
The man who was making Nandini restless was Ravi.
Ravi had a persona that would make heads turn. He would enter a room and simply own the space. He was six feet tall with an athletic body and a tan that made him look very tough and adventurous. He was in his late twenties, loved the outdoors and always enjoyed tasks that allowed him to travel around the city. He had a bike and like most men he enjoyed sprinting and trying stunts with his engine. This geek who loved the outdoors had spent his entire adolescence and most part of his youth in front of the computer. He loved creating and cracking codes and had bagged himself his dream job at Amazon in Seattle, USA. This 'nerd' - that is what his friends called him, had never dated a girl or for that matter never even thought of going out with one.

Ravi grew up in a very secular family in Mumbai. After studying to be an engineer he continued to live in Mumbai and started applying for jobs. His decision to move overseas was not just for a better quality of life. It was his childhood dream to work in the land of the geeks.
A year after working in a software company in Mumbai Ravi got his big break and moved to the US. Ravi's parents continued to live in Mumbai and visited him in the States almost every year. His visit to Mumbai after several years was only for his friend. It was their wolf pack. He and his geeky gang had promised each other one night of endless fun before one of them tied the knot.

It was the night when he was going to meet his three friends with whom he had spent every single day of his life while he was in Mumbai studying to be an engineer. This reunion after five years was Ravi's first evening at this notorious hangout. It was his best friend's bachelor's party and the gang of boys decided to celebrate the groom's last night as a bachelor at Lotus Bar.

The chamber welcomed them with a deafening noise. Once they had adjusted their eyes to the darkness, they found themselves standing at one end of an atrium, with reclining sofas and seats spread close to the walls, a dance floor in the middle and girls and women "dancing".
The seats were strategically closer to the dance floor for a better view of the dancers. In any case, it didn't matter where the guests were seated, because so long as their pockets were stuffed with cash, the dancer would go to him.
The three friends sat on one of the sofas amongst the customers. The crowd included teenagers trying hard to look like grown-ups and fifty-plus men who were dressed in bright satin shirts trying to look like film actors. The audience was overwhelmingly male and they showered money on the dancers.
The performing girls and women were clad in traditional ghagra cholis and navel-revealing skirts, low-cut blouses and colourful accessories. Most of the women just moved their hips and bodies and pretended like they were dancing. The more they tried to make it better, the fake it looked.

"I seriously think someone should research on the psychology of the money shower."
A young man signalled a girl to come over, held her hand, and showered a few 100 rupee notes on her. He looked thrilled and pleased with himself. A man in his late sixties asked the dancers to come and sit with them and chat. After a few seconds of introduction, the man took the girl with him and they left the bar.

Ravi and his friends had been to strip clubs in the States and the United Kingdom but this place felt very wrong. They left the bar in less than an hour and the party continued at Rahul's place. The wedding was after four days and Rahul's family had made stay arrangements for all the wedding guests.
After a long session of drinking and aimless jokes, the three friends finally started talking about their love lives. Rahul's fairy tale romance with Kiran was no secret. They were childhood sweethearts who had studied together from kindergarten to high school. While Rahul studied machines, Kiran decided to pursue her social sciences. She was dedicated to the cause of girls’ education.

Shashank who lived in London spoke about his long-distance romance with a girl from Mumbai who he had recently met on shaadi.com. He said, "She is everything I have ever wanted. She is beautiful, smart, has a great sense of humour and is very sensitive". Shashank always wanted to marry a fellow software engineer as he found tech savvy women very appealing. Shaadi.com proved to be the perfect place to search for a beautiful woman who shared the same love for coding software programmes. Shashank announced that he was excited about meeting her during this trip and was planning to introduce her to his family as well. He very happily called it a love marriage that had been arranged by a highly efficient website.
Shashank was next in line to host a celebration. Ravi listened to his friend's talk about their sweethearts. He wondered when he would meet his partner for life. Unlike Shashank, Ravi was not clear about the attributes of his potential soul mate. Until...

Chapter - IV
Nandini reached the bus stop, like every morning and was petrified. She saw a man from the bar waiting there. He was an eerie looking guy; unusually thin, dark and his teeth were stained due to excessive chewing of tobacco. This man in his late fifties was a regular at the bar. He had tried to grab Nandini at the bar the previous night, but the bouncers came to her rescue. But today there was no one at the bus stop to come to help her. She ignored him and continued waiting for her bus. He kept staring at her and she could feel her heart in her mouth. There was no one at the bus stop and that made it even worse. He walked towards her and was blocking her way out. Nandini flinched and tried to run away. She had to call out for help.

Ravi was out for a jog that time. He was treading along the pavement on the other side of the road near the bus stop. He heard Nandini's call for help. This IT guy had never learnt any form of self-defense or karate moves at the engineering school or otherwise. But, when he saw Nandini in danger, he knew he had to help. The perpetrator was slightly intimidated when he saw Ravi walking towards them, but he did not let go. Ravi decided to be calm and keep the man busy with conversation. He started by saying that he was looking for a bus stop that would take him to Andheri station. Meanwhile, he did what he always did during most of his office meetings. He sent a text message to Rahul, "Come to the bus stop".

In less than 5 minutes, the three boys gathered around the bus stop and the thin ugly man had to leave.
Rahul was his usual over friendly self. He asked Nandini where she was off to and offered her a ride to college. Nandini thanked them, took the next bus and left.
Ravi felt a sense of achievement. He was happy with his act of courage and his final success at saving a woman. At night, he kept thinking about what happened that morning and also about Nandini. Her pretty and innocent face kept appearing in front of his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about her long untied hair that fell upon her eyes and her glittering silver earings.
Chapter - V
"Looking at your eyes, that's exactly where the real beauty lies"
The next morning was a beautiful new day. Ravi walked out in his exercise gear and jogged straight to the bus stop. There she was, standing pretty in a rose pink salwar kameez. Her expressive eyes filled with kohl looked slightly scared. She saw Ravi from a distance and then she knew she was safe. Ravi went to the bus stop and stood there. They smiled at each other and after ten minutes of silence, our man finally spoke. He noticed she was carrying books, so it was best to initiate a conversation with the simple - "so what are you studying?" After exchanging few sentences, they realised that they had a lot in common. They were both born on the 1st of April and had always been victims of the same jokes on the 'great fools' day'.

Nandini's bus came and she left. Ravi was tempted to ask for her number but refrained. He knew he could meet her at the same place again tomorrow and that was good enough for him.
Nandini was at the bar that night and the ugly thin man was there again, staring at her…. Nandini hid behind a pillar to escape his eyes. Muskaan asked her, "why are you hiding here"? Nandini replied, "I am scared of that man. The way he looks at me worries me". Muskaan comforted her with a hug and they got back to work.

Zeenat Aman's film songs were very popular in Lotus Bar. Nandini performed her most popular moves on "Laila main laila, aisi hoon laila" This was a number which was played around 12:00 am to make the guest stay for another hour.
She looked at everyone in the audience, asking them with her eyes if they were having a good time. Every thrust of her pelvis made the throng cheer and shower money on her.
The day ended and Nandini was in bed, thinking about the eventful day and most essentially her encounter with Ravi. She smiled and slept with the hope to see him again.

Chapter - VI
Ravi was at Rahul's wedding ceremony. He looked at Rahul and Kiran exchange wedding vows and amidst the crowd of people, Ravi found himself smiling. There was a different sort of feeling within him. He wished Nandini was there with him. He wanted to enjoy this union of two souls along with the girl who had stolen his heart.
Ravi had never experienced this euphoria. His friends had caught him several times staring into space and smiling to himself. Rahul teased, "looks like our friend is in love, Ravi, have you finally reached puberty, hahahaha".

The next morning was their second date. She kept looking at her watch, eagerly looking in his direction. There was no promise to meet again or wait for each other but Nandini had already missed two buses. Ravi arrived just two minutes before the third bus and Nandini had to take that one as she had no actual reason to miss her ride. She didn't want him to know that she was waiting for him.
Ravi cursed himself and the alarm and then walked back home, disappointed and irritated with himself. He was going to be in Mumbai for another week and he wanted to tell Nandini how he felt.
So he decided; next morning would be the day of confession.

Ravi walked to the bus stop and handed her a book. It was a copy of their favourite novel, 'Love Story' - by Eric Segal. He asked her to read the first page of the book which said,
"Get tongue tied, can't look at you in the eye and all sorts of stupid things. But at the end, love it all and must tell you how I feel. I wish you will do this to me until I grow old too. I love you now and forever".

Nandini didn't know what to say or how to react. She could see, that her beautiful dream was about to end. She wanted to continue dreaming. She didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to reciprocate his affection without telling him her complete truth. He was standing right in front of her, just a few feet apart, not able to take his gaze off her. His eyes looking intently into hers, filled with questions and an unusual affection that she was not able to comprehend. While the moment lasted for a few seconds she felt as if it has been long enough and she moved away and got into her bus.


Chapter  - VII
The next morning Nandini was sitting in class and thinking about Ravi. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him, "he deserves to know the complete truth. But he will never accept me if he comes to know what I do." She kept thinking and finally decided to keep her nocturnal profession a secret.
That evening she went back to the bus stop.

The moment
She waited anxiously, her eyes straining....Every bus that dashed by was looked at with the most intoxicating mixture of nervousness and excitement. She didn't even know why! Why?!! WHY was she nervous? What was there to be nervous about? It wasn't as if she was meeting him for the first time (well    in some ways perhaps). A new friend, a new confidante and generally, a decent guy... that's all he was! And yet, her hands trembled, the extra-bright twinkle in the eyes, the care with which she had applied her makeup (and damn it... she never wore makeup otherwise. Atleast not to college) spoke an altogether different truth.

She shook her head, almost as if trying to wake herself up. "Time to pull yourself together", she spoke out aloud. Uh oh... the uncle passing by on his evening walk heard and gave her a weird look. She straightened her dupatta for the 100th time and sneaked a quick peek at herself in the mirror she normally carried in her bag. Her kaajal seemed fine. "Damn it!! Where was he??" The two minutes she had been waiting felt like years.

"Ok time to stop daydreaming and focus!" A stray line from a song from the opera, Jesus Christ Superstar floated into her mind (songs do tend to pick the most inopportune moments), "he's just a man... an ordinary man..." "So, what was the excitement about? Calm, cool, chill! Wait, is that him? Is it? Is it? IS IT?!"
Nope... She felt like a deflated balloon each time a she heard footsteps. "Forget it, why seem over-interested... Be cool.... Breathe...".
She heard a phone ringing in the distance and she almost jumped from the unexpected jingle. "It's him, Yippieee!!"
"Wait, did I just yell yippiee!?, I have to stop! Time for a quick makeup check again... yes yes, all in place! Almost time... Almost time... Almost time... Ok woman, calm down!!!"

And then she saw him ... Her heart feels like it was going to jump out of her chest it was thumping so hard! He walked towards her but she still couldn't look up. Closer and closer and closer... And then, he stopped....and her heartbeat almost stopped too! She slowly attempted to look at him, still...still    all she saw was an arm covered by a shirt and then his face.

With her eyes cast downwards. Now that the moment is so close, she didn't know what to do, where to look, what to say. The unease, more suitable to a teenager on her first date, crept into her. She was still stubbornly refusing to look up, but could already feel his eyes on her. His voice dragged her out of her thoughts.... Hi! And then... she looked up ....and straight into his warm, chocolate coloured eyes for the first time....And all wa won (or lost??).

After a few moments of silence, he moved close to her. “What! is he going to hug me?”. Their bodies pressed against each other, "He might just kiss me", but then he separated himself from the embrace. Intoxicated with his touch, she snapped out and asked him, "can we sit somewhere and talk?"

Chapter - VIII
Each day felt like a dream. Nandini would meet Ravi at the bus stop every morning. He would accompany her to the university and sometimes they would drive around the city. They were happy being in each others' company and wanted to spend maximum time with each other. With each day that Ravi's return date was coming close, Nandini kept reminding herself that her fairy tale romance was about to end.

She was not sure if he would maintain contact once he went back to the States or even come back to see her. Often she would find herself, lost in her thoughts of a beautiful home with a window to the sea and a tiny little garden. She saw herself with Ravi in this house and painted a beautiful picture of both of them together. Mixed emotions of joy and a sense of loss because he was going to leave soon started creeping in. She was also afraid of him discovering her secret. Nandini woke up every morning with a happy feeling and then would suddenly break into tears.

It was the seventh day since they had confessed love for each other and it was time for Ravi to leave. They met at the bus stop like every morning. Ravi looked unusually happy today. He started off by saying, "I am so excited the week is almost over and it is time for me to go back. Loads of work is waiting for me." She was confused and irritated. Didn't know how to react. She looked at him with anger and tears filled in her eyes. He snapped her out of it and said, "Hey don't cry, I was just  teasing you. I have postponed my tickets. Will stay another month, only for you."
Nandini's happiness knew no bounds. She jumped with joy and hugged him and this time, their lips did meet…

He held her hand and pulled her close, it was a touch she couldn't resist. His lips so close, a peck and then deeper....it was a touch she could not resist. This bonus month of togetherness was special. It was their chance to share their lives, their smiles and their laughs. Within their attraction and intimacy, they were pleased to find a friendship that only grew each day, it was their time to cherish and create new memories which they would treasure always. The closeness grew with every day and then again it was time to say goodbye.
Ravi left for the USA with the promise to come back after six months. By that time, Nandini would have completed her final exams. Nandini secretly hoped that Ravi would propose marriage, set her free and she and her brother would finally have a family.

Chapter - IX
Few nights before Ravi was supposed to leave he caught up with his friends and a few guys from the neighbourhood. One of them kept raving about his night at a club the day before, where he saw a gorgeous woman. He was totally smitten by her beauty and kept describing her body as if he had been fantasising about her. He said "she was a dancer at the bar if only I had the money to screw her. She was bloody expensive".

He then showed Ravi and the other guys a picture which he had clicked from his mobile. Ravi looked at the photograph and was dumbstruck. He was speechless to see Nandini in the photograph. He was silent for almost an hour and then asked his friend the name of the bar.
He strode straight to Lotus Bar and there she was! Nandini had seen Ravi enter the room and was trying hard to avoid eye contact, but didn't succeed. He saw her the minute he entered and was furious. He walked out of the bar. That night was hell for Nandini. She could see her beautiful dream turn into a nightmare. She wanted to cry but could not. She was on duty and needed to look pretty.
The next morning, Ravi was not at the bus stop. Her heart sank, "Its Over?"

Chapter - X
Every minute felt like a year and it had been a week of absolutely no contact. Ravi kept disconnecting Nandini's calls and was not ready for any explanation. Finally, a day before Ravi was supposed to leave, he called Nandini. He said he wanted to meet her for the last time before leaving and that he was doing this only for himself.
They met at a coffee shop near Nandini's University. He needed to know why she kept him in the dark. Nandini explained that she was ashamed of her reality and did not want to loose him. She told him about how she had lost her parents due to the killer waves and her reasons for this choice of vocation. She told him that she needed to fend for her brother.

She confided in him and told him about the night she reached Mumbai. Birju was her only contact in the metro city. He picked her up from the train station and took her and her brother home. The first few days were pleasant. Nandini was getting used to the house and the city. Birju would stay out all night and sleep all day.
Nandini started taking care of his house and one night when Birju returned from work, he barged into the room where Nandini was sleeping. Her younger brother was fast asleep, totally unaware of what his sister went through that night.

Birju asked Nandini to heat food for him and when she was in the kitchen he started making advances at her. He told her that he would make her a popular dancer if she made him happy. Nandini was scared. She cried, "I am not interested in becoming a dancer, please leave me alone". Birju was beyond explanation. He held Nandini by her waist. She tried to run but he was very brawny for her to break away from his grip.

Nandini's tears made Ravi's heart bleed. She didn't have to tell him that Birju had brutally molested her and made her surrender to working in a dance bar and also solicit clients for income to take care of her brother.
She was not able to look him in the eye while sharing the worse experience of her life with him. He was the first man she had ever loved and was petrified with the idea of losing him. He listened to her attentively and held her hand. Ravi felt sorry for her. "I wish I was there for you. I wish we had met when you reached Mumbai. I wish I could protect you."

Nandini felt a sense of comfort; she promised him that she would never hide anything from him. But she also told him that she had to continue doing this work till she was able to complete her studies and find a job.
Ravi couldn't wait any longer. He wanted to get Nandini out of the mess and in his opinion the only way to do that was to give his sincere love for her the seal of marriage. He didn't want to think of how his family or friends would react. But he knew that he wanted to spend his entire life with his princess.

Ravi looked into Nandini's eyes, and like most lovers do, he went on his knee and proposed marriage. "I have no ring but I couldn't wait for the perfect moment. I leave for the US this evening. I need some time to figure out a visa for you and Kunal. I will be back in six months."
Six months later....
Nandin's excitement knew no bounds. Her heart was jumping with joy and tears flowing from her eyes. He kissed her and said, "I take that as a yes".
Nandini and Ravi were declared man and wife!

Short Story 2016 Featured Mary Anil

Hang Out the Memories to Dry

It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree they had planted together…all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.
“Ammaaaa…” Arnav yelled with all his li’l might. For those unacquainted with him, it could well sound like a shriek of terror. But to Ayesha, it was a normal four-year old screeching for what could range from having found a tail-less lizard right under his drawing book that he had left sprawled on the verandah last night or just his way to test the echo capability of the house.
Masking a grin, Ayesha strolled upto him. There he was, all muddied up right to the brink of his nose -he must have simply forgotten to shower the mud over his head- the inane thought slipped in and out of her mind, as she approached him, all stern and cold.

“Ammaaaa, do you know something? If you bend the branch of this ‘maanga maram’ in this direction, you can use it as a bridge to run up the sun shade and slide down into the pond!” he exclaimed proudly.
‘Maanga maram’ was his own coinage for a mango tree in Malayalam. It was simply no use tryin’ to tell him that the word was ‘maavu’. He insisted on it just the way a coconut tree was ‘thengaa maram’ for him and not just ‘thengu’.
Ayesha looked at the poor branch all twisted up, barely able to breathe and muttered: “How would you like to have someone bend and twist you out of shape?”
Arnav’s reaction was immediate. “Ohh…I never thought of that. You think it’s dead? Shyoh, paavum*. Come, bro will help you stand up.”
Bro was his ‘buddy’ phrase that he had picked up from the gang of chettais* who hung around the corner of the junction where the house hovered almost as if fighting for survival. 
She had never failed to be surprised at how tuned in Arnav was to her mutterings and whispers and even undertones, but could simply not hear her shout the house down when lunch or dinner was ready.

She always tried to attribute it to sheer impudence, but then his heart-warming smile always managed to reinforce his guilelessness.
Tenderly, together…they patted the branch into its original shape. And when it was done, he hugged her fiercely to mask his gladness at yet another injustice thwarted.
Now, who would hug her with his muddied imprint reflected on her pale cotton saris that he insisted she wear all day long…tears welled up in some recess of her soul, while she sat dry-eyed in this bedroom which till recently they shared…noting the packed suitcase in the hall, yet to be loaded in the dicky of the waiting taxi.

It was just like him to forget how dirty he was and how easily he sullied even the most well-scrubbed three-fourths and T-shirts she laid out for him daily. But then the hug that followed more than compensated for all those ‘vanishing stains and what-not’ detergent powder combined with the extra spin in the washing machine.

It seemed only the other day that Arnav had run…no no no…that’s not the word…skittled…yes, skittled…that’s what it was…he had an uncanny ability to knock down anything that came in his way. Not for him was circumventing any object that sprung up in between him and his target. It’s as if he had a blind spot bang in the middle of his vision which allowed him to see only the end and not -in his case- the way. 

Ayesha smiled involuntarily. Arnav took the idiom ‘the end justifies the means’ to a whole new level every time he barged towards her in barely concealed excitement.
That day too was no different. He had almost knocked her off her feet when he bumped into the small of her back with such force that she had for a moment thought her spine would crack.
“Ammaaaa, you know I too can dance like Malar…see…and off he launched into body contortions which -Ayesha humphed- passed off as the in-thing these days among youngsters.
Malar was his current crush …from the Malayalam blockbuster Premam that everyone seemed to be humming these days. The eponymous heroine even had a song in her name which went ‘Malareh…..something….

And she would never be plain Amma to him. The ‘aaa’ appendage seemed almost sacred to him without which the word sounded void...as if it was never voiced in the first place.

The car arrived dutifully at the door, bang on time. Happiness never lingered, grief never faded…ever noticed that…yet another superfluous thought in and out of her mind. Ayesha spoke tersely to the driver just to confirm it was meant for Arnav.
The child remained blissfully unaware of all the packing. Or maybe, he just did not want to see it. The blind spot must have simply set in again…his shield of defence against the big bad world outside which according to him had good vayampires like Edward and bad wizards like Oldemoth (may Voldemort not come back from the dead)!

Would he remember her? Maybe she could register her name at the agency to be considered only for Arnav…but does the system there have such leeway…thoughts jumbled through her mind with Arnav skittling them back one by one as usual…with his normal horsing around the kitchen.
Yesterday, he had been a ‘ungry orse’ not so patiently waiting to be fed oths…for a moment, she was lost. Did horses feed on moths? Not that she knew any better. Horses were plain aliens. There were more chances she would have ventured for a second-show all by herself rather than go nuzzle a horse. You see, how remote a possibility was that. But what if she ever ended going for that second-show with Shekharan…that meant horses too could happen…she squished the thought right back into another hidden wrinkle of her soul…safe from pryin’ eyes…no way...goin’ with the leery Shekaran would ensure not being alone…see, she was safe.

“Aah, oats…that’s what he meant…someone must have told him, horses eat oats…now where on earth was that tin in which she had cover-shaken the oats into? There, you go now…the horse now needs to return to its boy-form,” Ayesha suggested…hinting helpfully at Jacob – another of his favorites from the Twilight movie-series.

And before she knew it, he was gone. It was as if Harry Potter had simply waved his magic wand and Arnav had disappeared. Ya Allah, she thought she was inured to the Potter mania and here she’s thinkin’ about witches ‘n wands ‘n abracadabra…what in the world did that even mean…she would have preferred somethin’ which sounded more solemn ‘n mysterious…maybe even foreign…like…Aahvaashu paraanshoh vakollumathaathaa…voh…voh…voh …where did that come from?

Did Arnav leave his spirit behind as solace for his physical self that was utterly lost to her forever? Who was aping whom? Arnav…when he decided to be prim ‘n proper just like her in front of strangers…or was it her…jumpin’ up ‘n down on the  squiggly mattress with its myriad creaks ‘n croaks…never failin’ to elicit a spate of giggles from both.

Ayesha slow-motioned herself into the taxi. She dared not turn to look at the house left behind with the gnarled hibiscus…for fear of being ensnared in unseen tendrils…the half-grown mango tree…you think by twisting its branch that day, Arnav had stunted its growth forever…another one of her inconspicuous thoughts darted in and out of her mind…nothing would be left of their time together.
How can the rich be filthy, when it is money which usually brings in the good in life?...there…it was in and out of her mind before even she could notice it. Playing truant, eh…she smirked at her thoughts elusive.

She had always been proud of her impeccable vocabulary enhanced by her Masters in English language and Literature from Kerala University. It was after all just that which had landed her this job in the first place…that of a nanny to the then two-year old son of NRI parents who had sent their firstborn back home in native Kerala to deal with another newborn who had landed unexpectedly bang into the middle of their already oh-so-busy lives.

She still remembered Arnav’s mom tell her with a hint of regret in her faceless voice over the phone that it was too late into the pregnancy before she even realized that there was another human life throbbing within her. “My periods have always been irregular…sometimes 28, other times 32…it has even recurred after 53 days…apparently the gyny (she made it sound as if an elf or imp was involved in the mishap of conception…bah...there you go…in and out of muh mind…) gave her some crap about her sedentary lifestyle spent on the laptop all day...how was I to know that it was a bloody pregnancy this time around!”

Ayesha had flinched involuntarily at the harshness emanating from the other end. But then it had entailed her being hired as Arnav’s nanny…a job she fell in love with on first setting eyes on the volubly chirpy dark toddler who had been handed over to her at the international airport in Kochi. His parents apparently had no time to even drop their baby on his virgin outing so far away from their swanky bungalow in Wales.

But then, Arnav and she had gone on to build their very own cosy nest in the quaint house with the gnarled hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree at Tripunithura in Ernakulam. Two long bliss-filled years it was…before that fateful day arrived when Arnav’s parents suddenly woke up to the fact that they had a firstborn too in their lives, and it was time they reclaimed him from their native land now grown foreign to their acquired tastes and accents picked up en route to NRI wealth and comfort.
And that was yesterday…Today saw Ayesha leave the already-gnarled house for her old corner in the working women’s hostel room in Thiruvananthapuram on the way to Bakery Junction –a space which she too had reclaimed with the rights of an old pal waiting to renew shared habits and washed clothes hung out to dry on a rope tied diagonally across the open terrace…and that was exactly where she laid out her memories to dry.

* Shyoh! pavum – Sigh…poor thing!   chettai- big brother

Short Story 2016 Featured Jaseena Backer

LILY

The itinerary of the adventurous trip to Goa was routed to be exploratory which included alcohol and sex for those of us who had their vices virginity intact. We called it our dare bare expedition and it did justice to the name. Audacity was nothing new in my life though for the other three it was; and that’s what they carried away from the trip. That memorable day when we parted from college life, we took an oath to meet in Goa after we were all settled.

It took LILY six years to get together. I was looking to drown in the alcoholic pleasures and treasures of my friends. The biggest decision of my life was to be made on this land. I walked on the beach and let my feet sink in the sand; I swam in the sea and let my thoughts drown in the water; I sipped several pegs of whiskey and let my feelings be intoxicated but the rumination was too crucial for any distraction. The ball was in my court. Sidharth said he would not ask me to stay nor leave. He better not, because now it was my call if I want him. When the intemperance didn’t give me the euphoria for decision making I reminisced about my friends. 

I was sure that they have their lives going on better than me. Ishara was the first to get married and now has a four year old daughter in Dubai. Lekha was settled in Goa with her narrow minded joint family. Lyra was flying in from Johannesburg for this get together with a five month old foetus in her womb. Yanvi, that’s me came in from Chennai.

Ishara checked in to the cottage at mid night with a cranky child. Lyra came at dawn complaining about swollen feet and Ishara was fussing over her. I was witnessing two stages of motherhood before me and this was the major decision of my life at the moment. The local girl Lekha joined only late morning.

Sitting on the open wooden balcony, sipping on intoxicants overlooking the gushing water we reminisced the college days. From past we flew into the present. Ishara got up with her life story first, having begun her marital journey first. She was the most enthusiastic and focused among us, unanimously chosen as the leader of LILY. She never uttered a wrong word nor made a fallacious decision, very dependable and reliable for being a lawyer. Ishu had changed beyond understaning. Her high volume spoke volume about her dauntlessness. After having a daughter she took up working as a legal consultant was the gist of her story till we met her. The second part of her story had only one small sentence "Aman has a second wife."

As soon as we heard the word ‘second’ all the intoxication cleared way for curses for the other lady. "Who the hell is that bitch?" I spat at Ishu raging in anger. Ishu didn't answer; she just stood there holding Vodka in hands There was more silence in our room than water in the sea.. Then she pointed out to the child sleeping on the bed and said "she is from Aman's second marriage.”
"Ishu, are you out of your senses? You walk around with the bitch's daughter while that bastard honeymoons in Dubai?” I was never the one to mince words.

The typical lawyer that she was, she didn’t talk further but kept sipping at her vodka. She didn’t sob like woman in this situation was expected to when they are with friends. There was another woman in her marriage and she was so composed? I walked up to her and pulled at her collars shaking Goa from its vacation mode from within her and said "tell me more about that jezebel, I want to kill her.”
Ishu smirked and asked “Gun or knife? Be my guest. I am that bitch, Aman’s second wife. I am the other woman who spoiled a marriage." I left her collars like I lightning struck me. Lyra wobbled her way through the pillows that was holding her swollen feet and reached Ishu “what the hell do you mean you are the second wife? You had a pompous marriage in public; one of the big fat Indian weddings I have ever attended and so how do you become the second wife?”

Ishu was a co-wife? With a contumelious smile she went on "apparently Aman was married to a Phillipina four years before marrying me. But that marriage was not acceptable to his orthodox family due to difference in faith, culture and professional status. They couldn’t accept their US educated son’s marriage to a mere secretary. So they forced Aman to marry a lawyer keeping his first marriage in place, complying with his only condition for second marriage. And in Islam that is allowed.”

Ishu didn't know she entered her marriage through the second door. It was only when her daughter was a years old the skeleton came out of the closet. The first thing she did was to get a job as a legal consultant. She planned to file a suit for fraudulence against Aman and his family. She earns more than Aman now and she is buying her own apartment in her desert city and settling there. Aman was repenting and had asked her to stay in the second marriage as there was no child from the first marriage. But Ishu didn’t want to be a marriage breaker nor be the second option in her marital life.
I saw boldness oozing out of my placid friend. This is what breach of trust can do to the meekest of heart. And then she uttered “I wonder how the first wife took it when she came to know that her husband was marrying someone else to comply with the family’s conditions. One day I would say sorry to her despite it not being my fault. I want exclusivity in relationship. And Aman played the dual husband’s role pretty well till I busted his heaven. He was having best of both worlds. Husbands aren’t siblings to be sharing them with some else.” Not a tear came out of Ishu’s eyes. I didn’t know if that was chutzpah or it was indifference.

Lyra’s sobs started resonating in the room. She married her cousin who was her childhood love. It was a norm in her Kerala family culture to marry uncle’s children and that's where her love bloomed from. I thought Lyra was crying for Ishu, but she proved me wrong within the next hour.
“What Aman did to Ishu I am doing to Arjun.” She had our undivided attention and I asked her. “You are having an affair?” She nodded and continued, “I have cheated my husband in a different manner. I have emptied our investment and hid the truth from him. I know I have no rights on my side to give explanation but as my best friends I wish you all to hear me out. Arjun and I fell into the old school of marriage where they say married life becomes like air, taken for granted. The flavour of our love fell off the second week I landed in Jo-berg as Arjun got busy with work. I guess we have been in love for two decades and the romance and fervour went missing. The equation between us changed. I had a group of rich housewives who had a card club where I joined as a regular member. Being a novice in the game I loss all the time. It ate into all my pocket money. Since I wasn’t working I couldn’t pay off my debts to these ladies. It accumulated and then I realised that these ladies have dangerous backgrounds. They were professional gamblers who trapped innocent women into playing and then loot them. They blackmailed me into a huge ransom under the threat of gun. So I unlocked all our savings from the bank that Arjun had put in my name. Arjun doesn’t know that we are wiped out. I am in a trap as these women will continue blackmailing me.”

I couldn’t believe that Lyra was involved in dangerous gambling. Ishu immediately took to her lawyer demeanour “why did you opt to deal it without Arjun? You stirred a hornet’s nest?” Lyra responded lying on the couch looking at the open sky, “those ladies have managed some nude pictures of me in a compromising position. They drugged me and then had a man on the bed with me. I didn’t even know when all these happened. Could even be a morphed photo as they won’t give it to me to analyse. I know the face and clothes are mine. So what do I tell Arjun that I gambled, lost money, I was drugged and nudity in some camera?”

I wanted to pluck the living daylight out of Lyra’s happiness but I tied my tongue with an iron chain. “Lyra, happiness is not a 24x7 thing in marriage. Couldn’t you give Arjun some time to settle in married life before you went running to buy happiness? You waited all your life to live with this man and as soon as you got married you started looking elsewhere for happiness?” asked Ishu. “And now you have this baby, do you know you live a dangerous life?”
“Lyra, what have you contributed towards your happiness? Did gambling give you happiness? I asked her
Lekha said from a quiet corner “confess to Arjun. Arjun may not accept this deliberate mistake of yours but better to be honest to everyone including you.” I always knew Lekha would never make a convincing lawyer but she surprised me. “Lyra, you are a lawyer and how come you didn’t know the law of the land? Gambling could just land you in prison anywhere.” Lekha went on...

Studying law was Lekha’s liberation from her traditions and culture but she got chained back into traditional life after her marriage. She was the wrong person in the right place. She walked the Goan streets in fully clad saree. She spent the weekends in Goa without a drop of alcohol. She ushered in every New Year without a bash by the beach. While in college she would enter the college gate and shed her salwar suit like the onion peel and get into sleeveless tops and short skirts. Till the vacation her demure Indian culture would gather dust in the wooden cupboards of the hostel while she floated like a butterfly in the college canteen and library in skimpy clothes. She stored freedom in her mind like camel stored water in its hood. She said she needed enough freedom to last her a lifetime as she knew she would only marry within her family tradition and live a secluded life. So in college Lekha was all about drinks, movies and one night stands. She mastered the art of bed hopping and we had to educate her on sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. I always wondered what was so restricting about the salwars and sarees Lekha wore; why did she associate only western clothes with freedom? Why couldn’t she free her mind and thinking in traditional dupattas and saree pallus.

“Happy married life is an oxymoron Lyra. People will call you a superwoman when you wear the confidence robe but do they know the layers of emotional clothing under the robe? Find happiness in yourself. Tonight you will have to decide about your life. Going back without telling Arjun about your plight is dangerous especially since you have used up all the savings.” said Ishu
“When the baby will be born all will be fine, I will find happiness with the baby,” replied Lyra

“What about people who can’t have children? From which source do they derive happiness?” Asked Lekha.  “Remember the two abortions I had in college? Now looks like God is finally working Karma on me. Adharv won’t have children according to the medical reports. His mother isn’t patient with the treatment’s pace. She says that her son was perfectly normal and marrying me made him impotent because I am a possessed woman who wants to go out and work. Thus God is punishing Adharv. Respect; the main ingredient in life is missing in my marriage. The daughter-in-law isn’t a part of the house. She is only a womb” started Lekha with her story.

Why is parenthood the most important pillar for a long-term marriage? Lekha’s college life and her lifestyle had nothing to do with Adharv’s infertility so why was she shifting the onus of the parenthood to karma? One look at Lekha’s comfort in her sleeveless top and torn jeans will give you an answer to the question Ishu was about to ask.
“Lekha, you were the college topper. You can still take up a job. Besides you are not the one with the medical problem. Why are you putting up with the mudslinging of your mother-in-law? What is it that you want in life girl?”

Wasn’t it obvious that Lekha wanted respect and freedom in life more than children at the moment? The question on my mind was how much Lekha was willing to let go and how much she was ready to go behind. “Go and register in the bar association and get yourself into the court. Don’t give an ear to what your mother-in-law has to say; she isn’t living your life for you. Don’t take any shit from anyone. I will only leave for Dubai after you get associated with a law firm.” Ishu concluded about Lekha’s life and held up their drinks into cheers.
It wouldn’t be as easy as Ishu makes it seem, there are intricacies of the marriage and culture that Lekha is bound by. Ishu was on the beneficial side of the marriage so she could pull the confidence. I wonder if Lekha would.
We are four friends and we each had a tragedy happening in our marriages. Was everyone’s marriage as adventurous as ours or were we the chosen ones for the adventures?

We are all attached at the hips and they could see through my lie if I told them that my life was a rock and roll. So I decided to begin my saga. “My expedition with drugs and its repercussions didn’t do a good selling for me in the marriage market. Everyone knew I was a drug addict apart from being anorexic, so I was an easy reject. I didn’t meet the requirements of the matrimonial columns. I managed into Sidharth’s final list. We met only once and he was ready for marriage. I liked my mother-in-law as she was more enthusiastic to have me home than Sid was. We had a very simple and quick marriage ceremony which was solemnised in the registrar’s office. Sid was slow in everything and he wanted to take time to know each other before we consummated the marriage. I fell in love with him after three months of togetherness. He was so tender and loving in his ways but he never encouraged any physical advances from me including a formal hug. Having fallen in love with him for accepting a drug addict I was ready to give my all in love. He wasn’t ready even after eight months of marriage and I was beginning to be restless and suspicious. He showed love, care and concern to me but he was never attracted to me physically. After marriage my anorexic look had changed and I became a voluptuous woman.

We went on a beach expedition for a week to Bali, very carefully not calling it a honeymoon. I wished to hug him and kiss him on the beach but each time I tried to hold him he would slip off. On the third day I got angry at him and asked him if he was keeping away from me because I was a drug addict. He then told me the truth of his life that acted as the flimsy wall in our marriage. Sid is a gay. He had a partner who he wanted to live with but his mother wouldn’t even live to see that. In order to save the life of his mother he ditched his partner and married me. He was in love with me but he couldn’t consummate the marriage because of his sexual orientation. He had not cheated on me after marriage. Now my marriage is at a threshold to continue or discontinue. Ishu, what advice do you have for me? Lyra, should I go looking for happiness elsewhere because my marriage is incomplete? Lekha, how can I ever have a child through a gay?”

Silence was the response to my question so I continued, “What actually completes a marriage? Sex? Children? For a month I was angry at Sid and his mother. I stopped talking to the lady who was the sweetest to me; because I knew there was a bitter intension behind those diabetic words. After a month something strange happened to me; I realised that there was no love lost for Sid. I loved him just as much; the sexual orientation didn’t matter, and those lies didn’t bother me nor did the separate rooms we slept in. If none of these mattered why am I making a decision on my marriage? All that weighed heavier on the weighing scale of my life was the support Sid was to me. The reason for my drug abuse was because I was from a broken family but my husband provided all the balm that I required to come back to a normal life. Even when he told me about his sexual orientation not once was I tempted to go back the drug way. So what more did I want from Sid?”

Lyra ate a late lunch and took a nap. Ishu played with her daughter in the beach. Lekha and I drank in silence for the next two hours. We had spent from sunrise in the cottage having open heart surgeries like conversations and we didn’t realise when the sun set on us. We were all ready for new beginnings. When we came in to the hotel we came with physical and emotional baggage but now I see clear sky for all of us. We weighed lesser on our minds and happier on our hearts. All that we did was talk and it was cathartic enough to feel lighter.

“Yanvi, I want to talk to Arjun. He might never forgive me but I can’t live with this guilt anymore. What if he helps me? Ishu, can you handle my case if I decide to file one on the ladies? ” asked Lyra
Ishu hugged and told Lyra “Arjun know all about your dangerous liaisons. He has been talking to me about the case and moving to Dubai. He has already found a job in Dubai. He and I will handle the legalities. But I told him to wait and see if you are repenting before he came open to support you. Arjun is a gem, don’t lose him.”

By night we stepped out into the beach for the first time after we checked into the hotel. It started raining heavily and it felt as if the weight was being washed off from our minds. When the weight of adulthood left us, the lightness of the childhood came back into our lives.
I was in the point of no return. Like the pilots say in aviation terms; I had travelled too far away from my origin and had not enough fuel to go back there. Whether it is coined for the aviation industry or used by Shakespear in Julius Ceaser; right now that’s where I find my life. I was at the vestibule of decision and Sid was open to whatever I desired. Everybody says that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My tunnel was too long and walking in darkness to meet the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t the option. So I decided to carry the torch in my own hands and meet Sid at the end of the tunnel. Sex is not the predominant factor in marriage and we were the proof to it as we have lived devoid of it for eight months. At this moment I love him enough to go back to him and continue living our companionship.

The next three days LILY spent without another word about our present or future. Till we met next time LILY made a decision to be blissful.
LILY- Lyra, Ishara, Lekha and Yanvi.