Showing posts with label Arka Datta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arka Datta. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Prose 500 2015 Second Prize, Arka Datta

The Helping Hands

The world wanted her to give up, but her will was stronger than the pile of bricks and broken dreams she was under. Her life has never been easy, but this was different. The turmoil of bygone days was metaphorical, but the earthquake was terribly physical... Real. She was breathless with fear, and also because of the crushing weight over her. It seemed to her that it was only a moment ago when she was making lunch. She remembered the vegetables trembling, what happened next was blur to her. She tried to scream, but lack of air denied her of sound. The darkness tricked her to believe that she was blinded by the fall; or perhaps it really had. There were no ways to know. Then she lost her senses.

When her awareness was back- maybe an hour or perhaps a few seconds later- she could feel the air to be thinner, free of some of the dust. She could breathe again, even if painfully. She tried to move, but her lower body didn't respond. Then she tried to move her hand and it touched something. It felt like wet skin: a palm, fingers, nails, and some blood. It was bigger than hers. She held it tight. It felt like a man's hand: strong and rough. She pressed on it tightly, hoping for a response, but that wasn’t granted her. Yet, she didn't let it go. 'Whose can it be!' she wondered. 'I hope it's of that boy I walk past on the stairs every day. Oh! Does he have a nice way about him; a very engaging smile. When we walk out of here, I will finally talk to him. I will see where it goes from there.'
Then she prayed for that hand not to be of her neighbor: the man in his fifties; the one who undresses her with his eyes every day.

'Or maybe it's the hand of the old man's wife. She is manly herself!' She thought.
For next many hours, there were only two things for her to do: fight to inhale air, and list all the people whose hand she could have been holding during the darkest hour of her life.
Then many more hours later- just when the thought of giving up had started to ignite in her- she felt movements over her. One by one, the bricks disappeared; the early evening light assured that she wasn't blind. Two men dragged her out of the ruins. She looked at her side. There it was: a hand. Just a hand.

Monday, 15 September 2014

ShortStory 2014 SecondPrize Arka Datta

Delusion of memories

My last clear memory: freefalling!
I don’t know this place. Strangely enough, I don’t have any sense of the 'I' either.  I am either dead or just about to. Whichever, it’s not scary. Or maybe it is, and I have forgotten what scary is. The last thing I vaguely remember is cold concrete underneath. But they are just figments. I have no visual. I can’t see myself, then again, who can?

Alright, I have breasts. Woman it is! And, so it proves that I can feel myself, therefore, I have a physical presence. But I have no sense of belonging, no name, no weight, no pain, and no emotion. Maybe my womanhood is a memory. Still, I can’t say for sure if I am dead or not. I don’t know if it is afterlife or something new, something entirely unfelt before. Have I lost my 21 grams?
21 grams: the weight of the soul. I know that. That’s not a common thing to know, is it? Then maybe... just maybe I am not common. That’s two things now; I am a woman and I am uncommon. Sadly, that doesn’t help the real question. Am I dead or alive?

Alright, what else can I think of? Clearly I am thinking. So, I have a mind. Or is it better to believe that I have a brain? Brain means I am physically active. Brain means I am more than just a metaphysical existence. That’s always good news. And, wow, I know some fancy words. That confirms the second notion: I am uncommon. And it makes sure that I am a logically thinking woman. Good for me.

Then again, who is 'me?' I mean, how am I linked to the universe? I must have a name, a womanly one. A name people call me by is my primary identity, or is it? Ok, no time to be all philosophical now! I need to think. But think what, that is the question. "That is the question," where have I heard this before?

Alright, woman, is that important now? Clearly, I am thinking right now. That means my deductive processing is active. I must use it when I can to figure out the biggest question of all: am I dead or alive. My fate depends on the answer.

Let's break it down. I can touch myself- or at least can remember the experience of touch, but can’t feel myself. I have a physical presence but my body isn’t in, on, into, onto, over, or under any place. That can mean only one thing; my physical presence is in my mind too. I am imagining my body, yet I cannot see it. I can touch it, yet I am not moving. So, I remember no appearance but only my gender. I can’t touch my face, my hair, or any other indicative parts of my form. I can touch only my breasts, that too without feeling my hands. So, the touch is only a memory; the memory of my gender.

If I was only a soul then the gender wouldn’t matter. Or would it? What do I know about souls! Perhaps, I need a different approach.
Yes, I need to take the path that’s more preferable, and what is more preferable than being alive? That’s the basic need, right? That’s what the human struggle is for, and currently I am struggling. I am hunting for a name, a meaning, a something... anything that can assure me of being alive. That can be an indication that I am still, in fact, a part of the living world. If I wasn’t, if it was death, then I would surely experience the greatest acceptance of all.

So, if I am alive then all this happening in my head, not on the transition of life and death. It assures me that I don’t need to look for the bright light that leads to the other side. Not right now at least. Now I can put some pieces together. First puzzle piece is my last memory. I was falling. I don’t remember, and it’s probably not important to know, from where. And it was a long fall. I can also remember lying on cold and hard surface. What can a long fall on a hard plane can do to you? It definitely can hurt. It can break your bones and injure your head.

Yet, I am thinking logically, not clearly but logically nonetheless. So, my head injury might not be grave. Alright, that’s something. But surely I am unconscious in more physical way of things. That means my lights are out. Is it the pain that has put me senseless, or is it something else? Perhaps a pull on my nervous system?
Ok, I know about that! Who am I, a doctor? Oh, yes! That makes sense. I already have established my ability of logical thinking, and add that to the things I seem to know. I am definitely a doctor. Well, this should be easy now. Self-diagnosis, that’s what will save me. Think, doctor, think!
Oh, what was that? I felt something... from beyond my current sense of existence. It wasn’t pain or suffering, but it was some degree of definite force on me.
Again!
And again!
Voice... was that a voice? Surely I am reconnecting with my physical world.
Wait a minute! I can feel it no longer. No! No! No! No! No! Surely someone is trying to save me. Oh, I need that person to succeed. I don’t want to die. Or do I? Why am I clinging onto life? Wouldn’t it all be easier if I just stop trying?

Damn, am I close to acceptance? Does that mean I am nearing death? I need something to keep me from giving in. What if there are people who desperately need me? That’s a great reason to carry on fighting. Wait, what if someone has pushed me to die? I surely need to do something about that. Don’t people say revenge is the biggest motivation? Yes, I can’t die. It’s simply isn’t an option. All I need is a plan. If I really am a doctor then I must know the art of being alive. What I would do if I was a patient of mine, I wonder!

Alright then, to understand the course of action, I surely need to know the degrees of my injury. For how long was I falling? One second? Two seconds? Three seconds? Surely more than that would be fetal. Hmm, a three second’s fall on a hard surface, and surely I didn’t fell directly on my head. Is that possible! Oh, absolutely it is if one falls on her side. Not on my left, of course, because that would injure my heart too much to still be pumping. Falling on my right side would break my right hand, and a few ribs, and my right leg probably. The trauma can knock anyone unconscious. A neck injury is possible, with some pressure on my heart: not enough to kill me straight away but surely enough to make death a possibility. So what’s the first thing I would do to me?

I would surely check for the physical signs of the injury, and then check for my vitals. What’s next? Let’s see… I can think, that means my brain is getting enough oxygen. My lungs are fine. Then there is the possibility of internal bleeding, in which case I need prompt treatment.

Oh, God! It’s not in my hands. The voice that I heard, I hope it was of a medic. I can only pray that I am near a hospital. Oh, God!
Things are getting dark. Wait, was it not dark before? No, it was nothing before… but now it’s getting brighter. Please, please let it be my awakening.
…I am in an empty room. A white empty room. Or is it a white abyss? Shit, I am tied down on an iron chair. Should I call for someone?
“Help me!” 

There is… there is a kid, sitting right in front of me. He is staring right into my eyes. But I cannot speak. I must try harder. I must ask him if I am dead… or… or if this is a hallucination. Yes, yes, it is a hallucination. That means I am closing in to the stage of waking up, but my consciousness is getting clouded. But who is this kid that is the question. "That is the question," where have I heard this before?
               
Oh, I remember…
“To be, or not to be, that is the question…”
Shakespeare…
He died on his birthday…
Why do I remember th… Oh, dear God… my child… my little Riju!
Defibrillation worked on the third try. My heart was pumping again. In a clouded awareness, I heard more voices.
“How did this happen to nurse Roy?”
“She jumped down from the third floor window.”
“Did her son...”
“Yes, died this morning.”
“On his birthday… that’s horrible!”
There was nothing I didn’t remember.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Poetry 2014 Shortlist, Arka Datta

I, Ashoka: At The End of War

I was born,
And then built
To be ironclad,
Be defiant to temptation
Afterward I melted
Tinny dewdrops
On stony membrane of mine
I slithered then
Twinkling eyes with crinkle 
Careless hair suspended
Wine drenched lips parted
Cheeks where the dimples rest
Carnal neck softly bent   
Hands searching for warmth of fire
Maternal lap embracing one ragged book
Long legs crossed lacking desire    
The flame kisses the flawless face
Bygone memories curve lips
Nose puffs the breath of despair
And then you turn to me and stare
The pride on that lifted chin
Eyebrows raised in querying way
Doubting my purpose
Questioning my desire   
I feel so naked
My skin ridiculously transparent
My secrets out there to gasp
My longings crawling out in light
My greater purposes put into rest
My words crumbling inside
And then you asked
“Who are you, stranger?”
Am I that much of strangeness?
So much in vainness?
The shadows of darkness
Are they stretched on me still?
The old rose fell deep;
You wordlessly pick
And held like you care
My covers all strip.

Sunday, 10 June 2012

Short Story 2012 Longlist, Arka Datta

No Today No Tomorrow

The basement of Neel’s house was a mess, not because he never used it but because he did all the time. This is where he stays for days, sometimes for weeks. It was a dark place with one corner brightly lit. That’s where he was standing with a blackboard, full of equations, in front of him. His sleep deprived eyes was fixed on the board. Sleep was a liability to him, just like food or going out of the house. His weak body was trembling with excitement. He thought he is going to get a breakthrough tonight, just like every other night for last six years, with each one ending with disappointment. 

“Somewhere in these messed up numbers, there is some pattern. There has to be, but where are you my boy? Its enough already” Neel murmured.

He was so intensely involved with his thoughts that it took the door bell five rings to grab Neel’s attention. He chose to ignore it at first but the bell kept ringing. Finally he gave up and came upstairs. He looked at the clock to see that it was a little too late for visitors. 11pm is an awkward social timing, at least for him. Neel lived in center of Noida and his locality was a very peaceful one with no history of violence. Neel was not scared of it either but he was sad about wasting his time attending some unwanted company. 

Neel opened the door and in front of him was standing a man, dressed in a long raincoat. The man was about Neel’s stature but he was at least 20 years older as it seemed to Neel. What stuck him more was the raincoat on a dry summer night.
The visitor coughed up slowly and said, “Ahh! Here you are!” and forced passed Neel to enter the drawing room.

“Just the way I last remember it” said the man as he sat on the sofa with his legs stretched.
Neel tried to remember this man. He looked familiar most certainly but Neel could not remember who he was or where they have met before. Then again, he tends to forget faces too often with his brain busy with his research all the time. Neel used to remember important people by assigning one of his equations for their name. Even if he new the man, he was not important enough to be signed with one, Neel thought.   

“Sorry! I actually cannot place you right. Do I know you mister….?”
“Yes you most certainly do Neel” said the man. “… and it’s quite natural actually.”
“And why is that mister…. What did you say your name was?”

”I did not yet. You can call me professor for now. The reason you can’t recognize me is because people can’t recognize themselves without a mirror.”
“If it’s a joke then I don’t get it” Neel said, sounding genuinely surprised.
“No! It’s not a joke. You must sit down for what I have to say, rather request you about.”  
Neel sat on the chair opposite to the man, with his mind still searching for the face in his memory.
“What kind of request?”

“I would make it less straight forward if I could, but there is not much time left for that. You must stop your research today, right now.”
The words were alien to Neel. Not because nobody have ever asked him to stop his research but because nobody even knew about it. He was sitting in front of a man, whom he cannot even remember, and he was completely shocked by the fact that the man knew about the research.
“Nobody knows about that” Neel said with his voice firm. “How on earth do you know about it?”
“You still don’t see it Neel? Look at my eyes, hear my voice, and try to recognize me. You will have your answers once you recognize me.”

Neel looked at the man hard. He had exact Neel’s eyes but they were wiser. He had more wrinkles on his face than his supposed age should have. The voice was an entirely new one for him, as much Neel could remember, but the way that man was talking was known to him. 

“Please tell me who you are actually. I can’t remember you, yet you know about me more than anyone else. How do you know about the research?”
The man took a deep breath and slowly said, “I am no one else than you. Cannot you recognize your own face? I am your 22 years older self Neel.”
Neel was almost about to jump up and drag that man out of the house when his scientific mind took over. He was just about to reject an idea that he was trying to prove for last 6 years. He sacrificed everything about life just to make time traveling possible and in front of him sitting was the testimony of his success. Neel remembered he read somewhere that even twins don’t find each other’s similarity and his situation was like that, much like that. He found it hard to talk for several minutes and when he did, it was blabbering.         

“I… I am actually going to be successful with it? I mean I already did? Oh god! Is it happening for real?
For a second he thought he was hallucinating with over workload. That seemed more legit as an explanation but he wanted to believe everything as truth. He wanted to be assured that his sacrifices are not going to vain. He felt ecstasy, not like anything he ever felt before.
“Tell me it’s all true. Tell me how the future looks like. Is it better? Will my invention bring changes? Will I win a Nobel Prize?”
Neel was trembling with excitement and he was shouting his every word. He was panting. He looked at his future self with eyes full of questions.

“I can’t tell you all that but I can, and must, tell you that you have to stop it right now. If you don’t, well, then you will be the one responsible for the end of the world as we know it.”   
“But.. but....” Neel took a deep breath to calm down before his next words and said, “But you did. That means I will too, no matter what. Isn’t it the very basic idea that I, as a matter of fact you too, had to start with?”
“Yes! Ideas were all I had and most of them were proven wrong except the fact that time traveling is possible. I wish it was not true. I made a mistake Neel and I don’t want you to repeat it. You still have the chance to save our world and save…. Her.”

“Her? Who are you talking about?”
Future Neel sat up straight now, with his face covered with his palms. He was sobbing but Neel didn’t understand why. A straight from science fiction invention and a Nobel Prize meant life time of happiness for him. Still his future self was crying in front of him. 

Neel lowered down his voice and said slowly, “Please don’t cry. Tell me what it is. Tell me what happened. If you are me, which I really hope to be true, then you must know me. Hell! You must know yourself. Would you settle for not knowing the facts being in my place?”
Future Neel looked up and said, “I know I won’t and I will have to tell you things that you are better of not knowing. But I have to, for her, for the rest of the world that can still be saved.”
“Tell me about her.” Neel said and waited as the man in front of him held back rest of the tears and started to tell him the story of the future.

“She, Ruksha, died in front of me. Died because of me and I could not do a thing. She will be your wife some day too. The most beautiful woman in the world, not only by her looks, which she was too, but by heart also. She will love you more than you ever expect and she will die because of you. She was more powerful than my invention, more prestigious than a damn Nobel Prize, and she died because of me. Don’t do that Neel. Don’t go ahead with the research.” 

“That is sad. I am sorry but what option do I have? It has happened to you and that means it will happen to me too. How can I change what have already happened?”
“For that I have to tell you what happens once you take the final step. You may not understand some of it as you have not discovered few key notes of the invention yet. You have to understand one thing that is, with no today, there is no tomorrow.”
“Well, am I walking on the right path at least?” Neel asked, worried.  

“If by right path you mean changing the DNA to give human the power to time travel then yes, you are walking on the right path. However, there are many things that you have to discover to complete your work. You must not continue with the research.”
“First, please tell me how my and your life can be different?”

“Because, one thing that you don’t know is, the phenomenon that happens once you travel to a different time. It’s not as simple as going back and forth, and neither it is the way you think it is. We just don’t go to the future and come back. We just don’t go to the past and come back. Its not what most of your priors thought.”
“No? Then what it is?”
“Once you travel to a different time, you create a different time tunnel. The one, where you were, keeps moving on its natural course and you end up with a place, much similar to yours, but with an independent time path of its own.”  

“You mean, every time someone time travels, they create different time tunnels? And what happens when they return?” Neel asked with his mind racing. He was exited with the new information. The fact, that he was going to discover it on his own, made it more exciting for him.
“When they return, Neel, they return to another time tunnel. Because of my, well, yours to be, invention, the world will have thousands of time tunnels. Same people, same world, same everything is going on according to the nature’s course. Yet, everything is different. You see Neel, no matter how many tunnels are there, the world will go the way it supposes to be but the traveler will be in a place, on a time, where they should not be. You see what a disorder that is?”

Neel sat back for a moment, letting the information get in his system. He had thousands of questions about the scientific justification of the facts but the question that he asked surprised him too.

“What happened to her?”
“Her? I hope by her you mean Ruksha but not your invention.”
“Just tell me what happened to your wife? What that has to do with the time travel?”
“Ruksha died with cancer, caused by the very invention of mine.”
“It causes cancer? Please tell me time traveling doesn’t cause cancer. I am not ready to accept that, no way.”
“Oh! But it did. It was the beginning of it Neel. I was about to take the injection for the very first time but she rejected it. She insisted to do it together. I tried to make her understand how dangerous it was but she didn’t care. The first time I traveled through time, she was with me. As a matter of fact, it was our marriage day where we traveled back to.”

“Do you mean I will make the invention after marriage? How far am I from that?”
“Your marriage? Two mere years to that and three more for the night you will take her to past.”     
“Five years? Five more years? No! I can’t just simply accept it. Please tell me how to do it? Why don’t we make it fast?”
“Because, Neel, you are not going to. You can’t just kill your wife with cancer.”
“Didn’t you find any way to prevent it?”
“Well, it took me another few months, from the day I found about the flaw, to make time traveling cancer free. When I finished, I declared it to the world. Time just started to fly. I was blind with the flashes of ovation from the world and I didn’t care that my wife was loosing her health.”
“When did you find out?”

”Few weeks later, when we were taking a flight to Florida, she just fainted while talking to me.”
Future Neel chocked with pain. He took some time before he could speak again.
“The pain of loosing her was much more than the happiness of the invention. You still have time, a lot of it, just move on. Forget about the research.”
“Cancer; won’t there be a cure for it in the future? Haven’t you searched for it?”
“It took human another ninety years to have a definite answer for cancer. The machinery was so advanced that it could not be created in our time. And, as you know, it’s only us, living beings, which can travel through time but not the lifeless objects, without a DNA to work with.”
“Couldn’t you take her to the future?”
“No Neel. She was too weak to travel between times. She would die even before I could take her there.”
“There is another thing I can’t understand. You could go way past and change things to make me stop. May be you could go to the time when I was still a child?”
“No! I could not. This is the furthermost I could come. My health couldn’t take me more.”
“Why not? You look healthy enough to me.”

Future Neel smiled a little and looked at Neel’s eyes but didn’t say anything.
“Oh come on!” Neel shouted, “Now don’t tell me I am going to have cancer too.”
“I wish I could say that. It took cancer some time to get me, but eventually it did.”

“Well, now I know what will happen. I will never get married to her. I simply won’t inject me before perfecting it. It will be different in my time, I promise you that. Don’t worry.”
“You don’t see it, do you? You will meet her in few weeks, and when you do, you will fall in love. You just don’t know how helpless you will be, just like I was. You can’t ignore that. Unlike the hormone you are creating, the love hormone is real, and much stronger than you can ever imagine. 

You won’t be able to ignore it, ignore her.”
“I will make it cancer free. Yes! I can always make it cancer free.”
“How do you know that? Don’t take that risk.”
Neel was about to say something when suddenly the man in front of him started to shake.
“I… I have to go. I am not strong enough to stay this long, but I will come back. Think about it please.”

And, with that, the man vanished in thin air, leaving behind the raincoat and trouser he was wearing. For the first time Neel realized that the man wasn’t wearing any shoe. And how could he, when he couldn’t make nonliving things travel. 

‘He must have picked it up from somewhere here’ Neel thought and went down back to his basement. He was burning with inspiration and pride. He looked at the blackboard, with full concentration. He was not ready to wait for another five years. He wanted to finish it as soon as possible. The Glory was waiting in the future for him. He heard a noise and turned around. His older self was standing in there, panting. This time there was not a piece of cloth on him and he was visibly in a lot of pain. 

“What are you doing here again? I promised you I will make things different this time. Do you want to die? Just go back, take some rest old man. I have a lot of work to do.”
“I have just realized something. In the future, every time I went there, no matter which time tunnel or which era, the time traveling was real and you were the inventor. Don’t you see it Neel, as long as you exist, there will be no change.”
For the first time Neel noticed that his future self had a gun in his hands. He pointed it right at him. ‘It was a little too easy’ Neel thought, as he keeps this gun in the kitchen shelf and the future Neel knew that naturally. 

“You need to calm yourself down mister. You are surely under a lot of stress. Go back to your time, take rest for few days and come back. We will talk about it then. Just don’t shoot me, or as a matter of fact, yourself.”
“I am sorry Neel” the man said with his eyes full of tears. “But this is needed to be done, for the future, for Ruksha to live even if not as my wife.”

Neel tried to run but a shot was already fired. He felt a burning sensation on his waist and then another one on his back, right behind the heart. He stretched out his hands to hold on to something but it was only air. He fell down and everything started to become hazy and darker than his basement ever was. The future Neel was on the ground too, trembling with an unknown pain running through every cell of his body, and just before everything went black for both of them, he remembered his own words to Neel; “With no today, there is no tomorrow.”