Sunday 15 August 2021

Ishita Aswani, Poetry 2021 Magazine

Beliefs

listen

I have heard that

the world goes around in circles

and love always wins

and hope never fades

and dreaming is always good

and all such cliche things

they say to shut curious mouths

and earnest eyes,

but is it satisfactory?

'cause lily was never alive

to see the way how she was loved

even after being dead

'cause hassan never came to know

how regret ate amir up

and how grief never allowed mariam

to live even when she so badly wanted to.


Belief holds that

an offspring always resembles to

it's root.


I have got my mumma's face

And papa's traits

my mumma's habits

and papa's logics

but still

none of them

shares my opinions

that there is no god

and even if there's one

it's you and me

or maybe one of us

and if not that

just none of us,

'cause even if there was someone as God

and if it's so

that we are the art

and he the artist

there won't be any world

and any humans,

he might have had them gone,

by now

the way, his own art is eating all the

colours from this world,

this is just so very poetic to read

but all the same so terrifying to imagine.


The world moves around in circles

so there shouldn't be any edges, right?

but there are just too many them

and just too sharp,


like the pinnacles that touch the sky

not of mountains, but of humans

like those old stereotypes

not of doing anyone's good

but always seeing the victim

as the culprit, always changing 

hearts and minds

in a jiffy.


I have these very weird

observations about myself

which make me question things

more than anything, whether I even 

belong here?

As soon as food touches my mouth

I need water like a struggling fish

it's as if the food is contaminating me

or maybe I am unworthy of it.


I like evenings

and sunsets

but I manage to 

witness very few of them

I like songs

but don't like to listen

them much

I like rain and it never is enough

to drench me within.

I say I believe I can remember 

birthdates of people till eternity

but tend to forget where I was,

midway in a sentence.


I have many opinions

on many things

but when someone asks

I tend to fumble.

Grief has always a place in me

a calm cozy couch in the corner.

and I tend to listen to stories of people

and soothe them,

( i don't know if I succeed or not, i try)

but when someone speaks of death

(the most grieving thing)

I can hardly utter a word

for death, I believe is not some sudden grief 

it's there, written, since eternity.


.

Beliefs. (sigh)

Always makes me feel

like an outsider for the things I believe.

Alas! Isn't belief the only thing worshipped 

on this systematic ball then?

We all, you and me, hold

these pronoun of "I"

just because we believe it to be

of some importance

or of all importance.


I say, I don't believe in God

and still, still

there have been

frantic moments

where I say

"Please, god, just this once"

and as soon as I say

I regret it 

for I know

I don't believe it

but other's beliefs overpower me

and now, you see

how strong a thing belief is?


I have always believed

that smile is the best thing

anyone can give

or anyone can do

to convey what's going inside

but there are 6500 languages

and none of them is named smile

I have always believed that 

kindness can do miracles,

but out of 6500 languages,

none of them is named

kindness either

what are we doing with them, then?

I have always believed that beliefs

are a powerful thing

but no one believes me, 

none.


Religions and Scriptures,

they say - talk about how one should behave in

situations out of the human control

but our mundane minds 

don't understand

that if they are out of our control

then, we can't really do

anything about it,

either by killing

or saving.


What if I say, that I believe

that the parallel universe theory

might have a chance of being right

and that we are nothing

but a failed experiment

of an adult alien going to school.

What if our good is their bad,

and our bad is their good?

and everyone there is bad

and they are experimenting

with little toys being good,

then, our ideal world is theirs

and theirs, ours 


But, these theories

are too far fetched

and I guess it'll be easier to work

on being good, rather than dwelling

on mind-eating theories

involving time and space, won't it?


Oh, but ofcourse you will

say, don't ask us questions, we don't know,

but atleast you do observe don't you?


There are a few simple human principles

made by human, who are obviously, 

as believed,

made by gods,

of living and letting live,

of forgiving and forgetting

of humbleness and honesty

and even though there are 

thousands of God's, 

that you claim

there are, as a father and teacher,

is anyone, or everyone trying to understand 

to what he says or he believes?

the world has us so,

it's always "he" and never she

I am not a feminist,

but is that all to equality?

It's always "Mr. and Mrs."

and not "Mr. and Mr."

and not even "Mrs. and Mrs."

is that all to this world, now,

commanding like God

if you don't find one?

Why don't you allow choices, eh?.


If there is someone as God

mind you, he wouldn't want

the world eating up all it's colours

just like I don't want the words of this poem

jumble up and go astray,

cause it might look all poetic,

but it's just so terrific.


There are seven billion people 

on this ghostly planet, and 7 billion

stories inside each one of them,

and 7 billion coping mechanisms

and 7 billion dreams,

all just as amazing as the other one,

I am not a charmer, but have you ever,

ever earned a smile?


So whenever, someone, anyone, 

seeks a paper for their story

to be told,

for stories make you, 

and make me, and make us

immortal,

so, where was I ?

Oh yes, whenever someone 

seeks a paper for their

story to be told,

no matter however blotchy or crumpled,

for it would just enhance the story

be one, and

listen.

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