SUJATHA
It was a cloudy day in the
month of October. I had just reached my house. The taxi driver helped me
with the luggage. I took a quick shower and got dressed. Settled in my
armchair, I looked out of the window. It had begun to rain. An earthy
smell enveloped the lawn. Raindrops splattered on my window, bubbling
with a mirth I found hard to relate to.
I had never really liked rain.
The dark skies, the chilling breeze, the whole thing seemed depressing.
But Sujatha had always loved rain. Dancing in the rain with careless
abandon, splashing the water in the puddles with a childlike
enthusiasm. I found all this extremely amusing. “How can getting
yourself so hopelessly wet give you so much joy?” I had once asked her.
She had thrown me her enchanting, mischievous smile and had dragged me
from the warm confines of my armchair onto the lawn. The look on my
face had made her giggle. I had chased her around the house like a
madman till we both collapsed on the couch - wet, exhausted and very
much in love.
Six months? Was it just six
months ago that I had returned to this house from Sujatha’s funeral? I
could still feel the rage that had engulfed my heart that fateful day.
Helplessness, really. Every object in the house seemed to remind me of
her. I had picked up a rod and smashed everything I could lay my hands
on - the dressing table sitting in front of which she would admire
herself, the table lamp with which she would play at night, the chair
sitting on which she would write her diary. Everything, everything…I
wanted to destroy everything.
But the house! The goddamn
house! I couldn’t destroy the house which held her memories in its every
nook and corner. Only one thought hammered in my mind - I had to get
away from this place…this place which seemed to taunt me with its very
existence. I had packed my bags and left. I stayed in a hotel for 6
months. But I couldn’t obviously stay in a hotel for the rest of my
life. This house was to be sold…I had arranged for it. I had come to
bid a final adieu. I was leaving for Trivandrum in the evening - I had
requested for a transfer and got one.
It had stopped raining long
back. Time to leave. I hailed a taxi and reached the railway station. It
was 30 minutes before the train was scheduled to arrive. An
unexplainable feeling…what was it? I felt as though I was leaving
something behind…someone behind. It was then that I realized I didn’t
want to leave. I didn’t want to abandon the house where I had spent
some of the sweetest moments of my life. I didn’t want to leave
Sujatha. The skies opened up and it began to pour again. I smiled. I
walked back in the rain to my home. Our home.
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